not ours.

"My brethern, you shall not do so with what the Lord has given us, who has preserved us and delivered into our hand the troop that came against us." 1Samuel 30:23

In this chapter, David and four hundred men are successful at regaining what was taken from them. However, the question arises: should the men who stayed back at camp and refused to help be rewarded with the spoil? Obviously, it was unfair. The men who followed David had risked their lives, and on the flip side, those who did not cooperate with David's plan even wanted him to be stoned for allowing them to lose their wives, daughters, servants, and goods in the first place. Yet, despite their original disdain, regardless of their obstinance and rebellion, David does not want to deprive them of the spoil. It's surprising. It's humbling. Is it something we would do? Is it something we could put into practice? How do we do such a thing?

Well, first, David regarded all blessings as the Lord's. Whatever the Lord placed in his life, he realized it remained the Lord's. This mentality stems from the roots of humility. If we fail to realize all is God's, we will consequently became enraged and frustrated with the passing of those things, those people, those circumstances that we receive. And yet, if we do hold fast to the idea that all belongs to Him, we will be like David, Job, and Jesus, when we lose anything. After all, the Lord gives and the Lord takes away.

Secondly, David was thankful. Instead of comparing himself with the others who refused to fight, he was focused on the fact that God had brought him success. What did it matter how God dealt with the others? It was not for him to inflict judgment; it was entirely up to God. Likewise, we need to always be content, perfectly grateful for what God does in our lives. We need to stop trying to figure out what is fair and what is not. Who cares? Right? Yeah, I know, it's hard, but once we master it with His help, we will live more peacefully, more righteously, and definitely more joyfully.

he seemed like such a good guy...

I've been reading 1Samuel for my devotion, and I can't help but wonder what happened to Saul. He started off being such a nice guy. He "held his peace" in chapter 10, when there were those who despised him, even though he was the king! He even stopped the men from killing those who were against him, stating "Not a man shall be put to death this day, for today the Lord has accomplished salvation in Israel." (11:13) He displayed amazing humility, patience, and understanding.

However, Saul's success depended on more than just a nice personality. It required more than his own humility to keep him from trouble. He needed more than the right words to say. He needed more than the right things to do. Saul went down the road of destruction because of his pride and lack of relationship with God.

Don't think that being a nice person will save you. That just doesn't cut it.

all must bow down.

We live in a society that encourages independence, marvels at autonomy, and lauds freedom; we disdain anything remotely hinting to bondage, subjection, and servitude. Those are synonymous to weakness, and no one wants to be weak. However, deep inside the core of all of us is a strong desire to bow down to something.

This urge is innate, naturally designed in our being. Though its true intention was for us to commune with God, and fellowship with Him; sin has manipulated it and made it into a conflict within our souls. Obedience to God is looked upon as dependence; to believe is seen as a lack of intelligence; bowing down to our Maker is considered weak. So instead we fool ourselves. We think we are in control, but this need to worship drives us to bow down to idols with no substance. They don't seem like deities, and so we carelessly dismiss the fact that we have made very trivial, powerless things our gods. Money? Fame? Beauty? Are these things really what this life is about?

The Philistines bowed down to Dagon, a stone statue. Looking with our modern eyes, we see that as primitive. Actually, the word philistine sometimes is used to described such uncivilized and barbaric behaviors. However, is the pagan worship so different than our worship today? Lives are thrown away daily because of drugs, sex, and money. Do we really think we are so much more civilized because we mask our pagan worship under the mentality that we are free?

misguided worship

I just read 1 Samuel 4, when the Israelites took the Ark of Covenant out to battle, hoping it would help them defeat the Philistines. It seemed like a good idea. Even the Philistines trembled when they heard the news. However, the Israelites were not seeking God's help; their confidence was in the concept of the Ark. I mean to say, they were disillusioned. They were finding their solace and strength in what the Ark was, in the past, and they were actually worshiping the object itself, making it almost into a good luck charm.

Their worship was misguided. I think I fall into this category sometimes. I start to think, if I could just do more devotions or read some commentaries I wouldn't feel so dry, so weary. Then again, maybe I should just seek God directly and talk to Him. It seems too easy, but it was never meant to be hard.

long time...

I've been doing my devotions in my notebook; I've just been so scatterbrained...

i feel...(numb)...i feel entirely (too much)...

empty. unwilling. unworthy. unyielding. yearning. dissatisfied. disconcent. tired. weary. frustrated. fatigued. weak. unable. stuck. stuck. stuck. stuck. stuck. stuck.

stuck in the mire...can't go back...can't go forward...just...sinking (gulp).

sometimes the only consolation is...He loves me. I need to shout it on the roof top...HE LOVES ME! No matter what happens, even in the thick of things, He loves me. Isn't that enough? Shouldn't that be enough?

Glad Hearts

"I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices." Psalm 16:8-9

In psalm 16, David demonstrates the type of relationship he has with God; he shows us where he stands, where God stands, and the consequences of maintaining such a relationship. David allows God to be fully in control of his life, placing God in the position of the right-hand man, as well as the One to go before David in all situations. As a result, David's heart is "glad".

Allowing someone else to make a decision for us dictates vulnerbility and fear. For some reason, we think we are capable of making the most reasonable decisions on our own behalf. Ironically, we don't always know what's best for ourselves. And yet, the idea of giving up the reigns is hard because we don't like giving up control.

However, by allowing God to go before is the best choice. Even though it feels like we're losing control over the situation, our trust in God's ability and wisdom is actually securing the most infinitely perfect control possible. As a result, we can be assured that everything will come together for His will, and our hearts can be glad.

Dear God,

I want a glad heart. I want to be liberated from any fear or anxiety I have. Please help me to give up my hold on these ridiculous events in my life; I can't mend them; I can't erase them; I can't do anything. However, I want to trust that You will take care of everything in Your time.

Cut to the Heart

"When they heard these things they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed at him with their teeth..." Acts 7:54

Stephen, being attacked by those wanting to stir the people against Jesus' disciples, begins to provide a thorough history as proof to the authencity of Jesus and also as evidence for their folly in rejecting the truth. Though he rightfully shows the parallel of the Israelites' hard-heartedness to these men, the effect, though on their heart, does not urge them to repentence.

The men hear Stephen's accusation, but instead of turning from their ways, they allow their anger and pride to override the guilt that they feel. They translate those feelings into hate and revenge, instead of allowing the feelings to manifest into humility. They turn against Stephen, and end up killing him.

When we are wrong, we cannot get defensive. The embarrassment we experience must be fermented into humility rather than covered with anger. Being "cut to the heart" is painful, but God wants us to repent and grow.

Dear God,

Help me to know when I am wrong, especially if I am not representing You as best as I can. Lead me to repentence and humility as a result of my carelessness or selfishness, and dismantle my pride from growing into something destructive.