Friday, July 27, 2007

day and night.

1 It is good to praise the LORD
and make music to your name, O Most High,
2 to proclaim your love in the morning
and your faithfulness at night, (Psalm 92)

I believe I suffer because I fail to do these two things daily. When I awake, I begin my day thinking how horrible it will be. I think about all the terrible things I have to do. I think about how stupid and undisciplined I am, and I start the day thinking that I will inevitably fall and stumble despite how hard and painfully persistent I try or want to try. Then at night, I think about how terrible my day was. I think about the unfathomable and unrealistic list of things I still have yet to complete. I fall asleep, realizing what I failure I truly am, and just want sleep to swallow me whole.

...My misery is derived from one thing and one thing only: the fact that I think way too much about myself is the source of my woe. I begin the day thinking about me. I end the day thinking about me. I know I am worthless; I need not convince myself otherwise, so why do I spend my waking hours thinking about something worthless???

I need to start thinking about God's love in the morning. When I wake up, knowing that He loves me so, so, so very much, how can I resist enjoying the day that HE made especially for me and you? When I fall into deep, sweet slumber, why cannot I be thinking about all the wonderful things, through His faithfulness, He provided for me??? And in between night and day, I have to simply meditate on HIM and forget little old me, and this will perhaps transform my day into something'll make my life a life worth living.

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